September 27, 2009
September 25, 2009
It was all a dream...
I originally wrote this during last year's playoff run, but thought I would remix it a bit for the upcoming year. In the voice of Notorious BIG, the Biggie himself...
it was all a dream
i used to read hoops vibe magazine
brandon roy rockin' lakers D, rose garden scene
hanging pictures on my wall
every thursday tnt, kenny, ernie and sir charles
i let my tivo rock 'til the hard drive popped
watchin' 'dre to rudy alley-oop, skippin' ads for 30 rock
way back, when i had the red and black air jordans snatched
with the hat to match
remember bonzi wells, ha-ha, ha-ha
you never thought that rip city would take it this far
now we're in the limelight 'cause we dime right
time to parade, championship's ours i'm afraid
we feast like winners, the opposite of your dinner
peace to rasheed, brian g, scottie p
clyde the glide, bill waltony
we're blowin' up like we thought we would
call pdx, same logo same hood
it's all good
and if you don't know, now you know
September 24, 2009
Fire Journalists with Mudbrains
In the spirit of FJM, I take red pen to Tim Chisholm’s recent article about the Blazers posted on Canadian sports site TSN. Sadly, Chisholm appears to have drawn too long from the Toronto Truther teat, and something’s come unglued in his mind.
Well, the fairy tale had to end some time, and for the Blazers this summer was that time. Though, considering how hard reality strikes some teams, the Blazers were let off fairly easily.
This, I suppose, is the premise of Chisholm’s diatribe. The Blazer’s romp through the magical kingdom of Royland is over. The cold winter of reality has set in. But the winter has been a light one, so it's not really that bad? I’m confused already.
After all, this was a club that should have had far worse karma after the way they handled the Darius Miles situation last summer and the way the early parts of their contract negotiations went with Brandon Roy, but things went all right in the end.
So the cold winter of reality hasn’t really been that cold, and our bad Miles karma hasn’t really been bad. But if you want to keep making awkward accusations and immediately backtracking, I guess that’s fine.
And let’s hold up a second. Admittedly, we didn’t handle the Miles situation smoothly. Penn’s letter last year warning teams not to sign Miles was… misguided at best. But Miles was a malcontent who never got in shape for the Blazers, and was still getting paid through insurance. Requesting a medical retirement seemed reasonable after two serious microfracture surgeries and his subsequent donut-infused rehab. An independent doctor signed off on the deal. When, against the odds, he made it back to the NBA, he averaged fewer than 4 points and 2 rebounds per game coming off the bench for one of the worst teams in the league. May I remind, you, this is a man who spent his money to actually buy THIS CAR. I’m no karma expert, but I don’t see what exactly we did that was so bad.
Plus we signed Roy to a max contract, and even gave him an option on his fifth year. That seems like fairly good treatment for a star player who deserves max money. Later in the article, Chisholm criticizes the early parts of Usain Bolt's sprints – what takes that guy so long?
Did they get to spend their money on their number one free agent target (Hedo Turkoglu)? No, they didn't. Did they get to spend their money on their odd second choice (Paul Millsap)? No, they didn't.
You realize that Millsap did not actually choose to stay in Utah, but that Utah chose to retain his services as a restricted free agent, right? I like your whole fairy tale vibe, but the NBA has actual rules and things about who you can sign.
What they did get was a two-year rental on Andre Miller in an attempt to save face in a summer where no one seemed interested in playing in Portland.
Yes, Andre took our $10 million in face-saving money. We have encouraged him to splurge on a nice hair cut with that cash.
Perhaps that, though, is the real trouble spot that has arisen this summer.
Portland is a club on the rise with one of the most talented guards in the game and a highly respected coach on the sidelines. Yet they had trouble spending nearly $10-million in cap space this summer because players and agents seem wary of linking themselves with the club. Surely part of it is the aftermath of the Miles fiasco, but GM Kevin Pritchard has begun to get himself a reputation as an arrogant malcontent who sees himself as bigger than his club and his club as better than the league.
That $10 million was tough to spend, it’s true. Pritchard tried to buy some new TVs for the Rose Garden concourse, but Best Buy wouldn’t take his dirty money. We offered $10 million to Zaza Pachulia, but he said he’d rather stay in Atlanta for $4 million because living in the state of Georgia reminded him so much of his home in Tbilisi, Georgia.
Or wait, maybe there just weren’t that many high-end free agents on the market this summer! If you want to criticize Pritchard, maybe you should criticize him for making that dumb $50/5 offer to Turkoglu in the first place. (On a completely unrelated note, Turkoglu shot 30/91 from the field and was visibly tired during the Eurobasket tournament. He turns 31 before next year’s playoffs [I sure hope you guys make it this year]. Enjoy your Turkish Sensation, Toronto! I’m jealous that your fairy tale isn’t over yet.)
Agents steered their clients away from Portland during the draft due to uncertainty as to when their clients would ever play.
Oh those terrible Blazers. They have so many good players that rookies don’t want to get drafted by them because they won’t get to play. The front office is running that team into the ground.
Portland's coach Nate McMillan was vocal during that process and this summer about the differences he and his boss have over the makeup of the roster (so much so that McMillan refuses to extend his contract beyond one-year increments so that he'll be available should a better opportunity present itself in the future).
He wants the chance to escape fairy tale land at a moment’s notice, duh.
Rudy Fernandez was displeased with the news that Turkoglu could be coming to the team and what it could mean for his already mid-sized playing time. Sergio Rodriguez, now of the Kings, was frequently frustrated with his role within the club and Jerryd Bayless has since taken up his cry. Heck, one has to wonder why Turkoglu would spurn a team that spent two solid days courting him like he was a southern belle for a club that was only willing to lift a telephone.
*Gasp* One minor role player complained about his playing time last year, while another player worried that signing a signing a free agent at his same position might cut into his minutes? The sky is falling! For what it’s worth, I have never heard Jerry Bayless complain about playing time. I have heard him say mature things like:
As nice as it is to have a team that the media adores, that isn't nearly as nice as having a team that players adore, because the media is fickle and is already poised to ditch this club for their division-mates in Oklahoma City.
I think Chisholm just argued: media adoration doesn’t matter much, but watch out because the media’s about to adore another team! In this love triangle, Portland would be Jennifer Aniston, Oklahoma City would be Angelina Jolie, and the media would be Brad Pitt? I think that puts Tim Chisholm in the role of Perez Hilton.
Perhaps one of the issues leading to this circumstance with players is that players in Portland don't feel that the club has their best interests at heart. While a team must always remain dispassionate its their players to a certain degree, there are few organizations that (at least outwardly) treat their players with less humanity. These players are frequently reminded that they are assets first, people second. Bayless will never get a chance to play this year behind Miller, Roy and Steve Blake, yet he is theirs and they want no part of a trade discussion.
As discovered by members of BlazersEdge, the front office does have a rather impersonal approach to player valuation. Other organizations sign players to contracts based solely on three hour personal interviews, playing ability be damned.
Travis Outlaw, one of the most dependable options on the team, has been sitting on the trading block for over a year without the club making any effort to dispel notions to the contrary. Teams shouldn't go out of their way to indulge every player's whim, but nor should they act as though there are no people inside the uniforms. A team like Dallas is the preferred destination of nearly every trade demand because players are cared for while in Dallas.
Travis Outlaw – one of the most dependable options on the team? Oh man, you crack me up.
Part of Boston's legacy is that once you enter the Celtics family you are a Celtic for life, an honour that extends far longer than any one player's on-court career. Heck, one of the reasons Turkoglu may have ditched this club is that Toronto Raptors GM Bryan Colangelo has a reputation for making sure his players are done right by.
Have you ever seen Red Auerbach and Bryan Colangelo in the same room at the same time? I DIDN'T THINK SO.
Come on, let’s get back to the story about how the Blazers all pranced around a fairy tale rose city but then woke up and realized that they all hated Kevin Pritchard. That was a good story.
Portland may improve on their successes of last year or they may take a step back, but it's their long-term future that should have fans worried because having a reputation as an inhospitable club is very hard to shake.
Chisholm, the weather reporter: “Well folks, I didn’t take a look at the radar this evening, but I’m pretty sure tomorrow is going to be either cloudy or sunny. It doesn’t really matter, though, because I saw a movie last night that said the world will end in a sudden ice age, and that’s the sort of bad weather that’s going to be very hard to shake. Now here’s Tom with the traffic report.”
The rest of the article contains a breakdown of our starting lineup, with more backhanded compliments than a pimp with a golden heart. For more of Tim Chisholm’s thoughts, please view this twitter topic thread.
Well, the fairy tale had to end some time, and for the Blazers this summer was that time. Though, considering how hard reality strikes some teams, the Blazers were let off fairly easily.
This, I suppose, is the premise of Chisholm’s diatribe. The Blazer’s romp through the magical kingdom of Royland is over. The cold winter of reality has set in. But the winter has been a light one, so it's not really that bad? I’m confused already.
After all, this was a club that should have had far worse karma after the way they handled the Darius Miles situation last summer and the way the early parts of their contract negotiations went with Brandon Roy, but things went all right in the end.
So the cold winter of reality hasn’t really been that cold, and our bad Miles karma hasn’t really been bad. But if you want to keep making awkward accusations and immediately backtracking, I guess that’s fine.
And let’s hold up a second. Admittedly, we didn’t handle the Miles situation smoothly. Penn’s letter last year warning teams not to sign Miles was… misguided at best. But Miles was a malcontent who never got in shape for the Blazers, and was still getting paid through insurance. Requesting a medical retirement seemed reasonable after two serious microfracture surgeries and his subsequent donut-infused rehab. An independent doctor signed off on the deal. When, against the odds, he made it back to the NBA, he averaged fewer than 4 points and 2 rebounds per game coming off the bench for one of the worst teams in the league. May I remind, you, this is a man who spent his money to actually buy THIS CAR. I’m no karma expert, but I don’t see what exactly we did that was so bad.
Plus we signed Roy to a max contract, and even gave him an option on his fifth year. That seems like fairly good treatment for a star player who deserves max money. Later in the article, Chisholm criticizes the early parts of Usain Bolt's sprints – what takes that guy so long?
Did they get to spend their money on their number one free agent target (Hedo Turkoglu)? No, they didn't. Did they get to spend their money on their odd second choice (Paul Millsap)? No, they didn't.
You realize that Millsap did not actually choose to stay in Utah, but that Utah chose to retain his services as a restricted free agent, right? I like your whole fairy tale vibe, but the NBA has actual rules and things about who you can sign.
What they did get was a two-year rental on Andre Miller in an attempt to save face in a summer where no one seemed interested in playing in Portland.
Yes, Andre took our $10 million in face-saving money. We have encouraged him to splurge on a nice hair cut with that cash.
Perhaps that, though, is the real trouble spot that has arisen this summer.
Portland is a club on the rise with one of the most talented guards in the game and a highly respected coach on the sidelines. Yet they had trouble spending nearly $10-million in cap space this summer because players and agents seem wary of linking themselves with the club. Surely part of it is the aftermath of the Miles fiasco, but GM Kevin Pritchard has begun to get himself a reputation as an arrogant malcontent who sees himself as bigger than his club and his club as better than the league.
That $10 million was tough to spend, it’s true. Pritchard tried to buy some new TVs for the Rose Garden concourse, but Best Buy wouldn’t take his dirty money. We offered $10 million to Zaza Pachulia, but he said he’d rather stay in Atlanta for $4 million because living in the state of Georgia reminded him so much of his home in Tbilisi, Georgia.
Or wait, maybe there just weren’t that many high-end free agents on the market this summer! If you want to criticize Pritchard, maybe you should criticize him for making that dumb $50/5 offer to Turkoglu in the first place. (On a completely unrelated note, Turkoglu shot 30/91 from the field and was visibly tired during the Eurobasket tournament. He turns 31 before next year’s playoffs [I sure hope you guys make it this year]. Enjoy your Turkish Sensation, Toronto! I’m jealous that your fairy tale isn’t over yet.)
Agents steered their clients away from Portland during the draft due to uncertainty as to when their clients would ever play.
Oh those terrible Blazers. They have so many good players that rookies don’t want to get drafted by them because they won’t get to play. The front office is running that team into the ground.
Portland's coach Nate McMillan was vocal during that process and this summer about the differences he and his boss have over the makeup of the roster (so much so that McMillan refuses to extend his contract beyond one-year increments so that he'll be available should a better opportunity present itself in the future).
He wants the chance to escape fairy tale land at a moment’s notice, duh.
Rudy Fernandez was displeased with the news that Turkoglu could be coming to the team and what it could mean for his already mid-sized playing time. Sergio Rodriguez, now of the Kings, was frequently frustrated with his role within the club and Jerryd Bayless has since taken up his cry. Heck, one has to wonder why Turkoglu would spurn a team that spent two solid days courting him like he was a southern belle for a club that was only willing to lift a telephone.
*Gasp* One minor role player complained about his playing time last year, while another player worried that signing a signing a free agent at his same position might cut into his minutes? The sky is falling! For what it’s worth, I have never heard Jerry Bayless complain about playing time. I have heard him say mature things like:
Dime Magazine: When you first heard about the Miller signing, what was your reaction?
JB: I thought it could be a good learning experience for me. I just gotta take it for what it’s worth and learn from it. Andre Miller’s a great point guard, so it’ll only help me get better.
As nice as it is to have a team that the media adores, that isn't nearly as nice as having a team that players adore, because the media is fickle and is already poised to ditch this club for their division-mates in Oklahoma City.
I think Chisholm just argued: media adoration doesn’t matter much, but watch out because the media’s about to adore another team! In this love triangle, Portland would be Jennifer Aniston, Oklahoma City would be Angelina Jolie, and the media would be Brad Pitt? I think that puts Tim Chisholm in the role of Perez Hilton.
Perhaps one of the issues leading to this circumstance with players is that players in Portland don't feel that the club has their best interests at heart. While a team must always remain dispassionate its their players to a certain degree, there are few organizations that (at least outwardly) treat their players with less humanity. These players are frequently reminded that they are assets first, people second. Bayless will never get a chance to play this year behind Miller, Roy and Steve Blake, yet he is theirs and they want no part of a trade discussion.
As discovered by members of BlazersEdge, the front office does have a rather impersonal approach to player valuation. Other organizations sign players to contracts based solely on three hour personal interviews, playing ability be damned.
Travis Outlaw, one of the most dependable options on the team, has been sitting on the trading block for over a year without the club making any effort to dispel notions to the contrary. Teams shouldn't go out of their way to indulge every player's whim, but nor should they act as though there are no people inside the uniforms. A team like Dallas is the preferred destination of nearly every trade demand because players are cared for while in Dallas.
Travis Outlaw – one of the most dependable options on the team? Oh man, you crack me up.
Part of Boston's legacy is that once you enter the Celtics family you are a Celtic for life, an honour that extends far longer than any one player's on-court career. Heck, one of the reasons Turkoglu may have ditched this club is that Toronto Raptors GM Bryan Colangelo has a reputation for making sure his players are done right by.
Have you ever seen Red Auerbach and Bryan Colangelo in the same room at the same time? I DIDN'T THINK SO.
Come on, let’s get back to the story about how the Blazers all pranced around a fairy tale rose city but then woke up and realized that they all hated Kevin Pritchard. That was a good story.
Portland may improve on their successes of last year or they may take a step back, but it's their long-term future that should have fans worried because having a reputation as an inhospitable club is very hard to shake.
Chisholm, the weather reporter: “Well folks, I didn’t take a look at the radar this evening, but I’m pretty sure tomorrow is going to be either cloudy or sunny. It doesn’t really matter, though, because I saw a movie last night that said the world will end in a sudden ice age, and that’s the sort of bad weather that’s going to be very hard to shake. Now here’s Tom with the traffic report.”
The rest of the article contains a breakdown of our starting lineup, with more backhanded compliments than a pimp with a golden heart. For more of Tim Chisholm’s thoughts, please view this twitter topic thread.
September 18, 2009
Who's the big baby?
Last year I read numerous contradictory statements in the NBA press concerning the "youngest" team in the league. Some writers named Golden State the youngest, others labeled the Hawks as the babies of the Association, while still others pointed to the Grizzlies or the Blazers as the least experienced of the bunch. Which team was really the youngest?
Well... that's not exactly the most straightforward question. There are several ways to approach this question. You could simply take an average of the ages for all players on a given team. But how do you account for midseason trades? And should you really count an aging vet on his way out or a rookie who never got off the bench on the same footing as an in-his-prime starter?
The best approach is to weight a player's age by the minutes he actually played. This method ensures that you measure a team's average age based only on which players saw the court. Sum up the product of age and minutes played for all players on a team, and then divide by the total number of minutes that team played:
∑(Player’s minutes * Player’s age) / ∑(Team minutes)
According to this method, the Memphis Grizzlies put the youngest team on the court. Their squad averaged under 24 years old, with youngsters O.J. Mayo, Rudy Gay, Marc Gasol, and Mike Conley leading the team in minutes. Here are the five youngest teams in the NBA last season, weighted by minutes played:
- Memphis - 23.97
- Portland - 24.70
- Oklahoma City - 25.13
- Chicago - 25.65
- Golden State - 25.76
Looking at rankings based on years of NBA experience, rather than pure age, produced a similar ranking, with Miami moving up to fourth, bumping Chicago down a spot.
For completeness sake, the five oldest teams in the NBA were:
- New Orleans - 28.85
- Detroit - 29.07
- Dallas - 29.85
- Phoenix - 30.27
- San Antonio - 31.26
This simple exercise revealed two interesting things about team ages. First, the two NBA finals teams, Los Angeles and Orlando, were ranked sequentially. LA came in 21st overall in average age, at 28.06 years, and Orlando was 22nd, at 28.11 years. Second, the 10 oldest teams in the league all made the playoffs, while only four of the 10 youngest teams made the playoffs.
I have a few ideas on more interesting age-related questions, which I hope to address once I find or compile the necessary data. What is the correlation between age/experience and winning, both last year and historically? Is there some sort of sweet spot in terms of team success? I also want to look at how average age or average years of experience have changed since the NBA instituted the minimum age requirement.
August 26, 2009
Can a brother get a kick?
Reggie Hodges, come on down!
At the conclusion of the 2008-09 NFL season, there were 90 kickers listed on team rosters. Of those 90 NFLers, there was exactly 1 (one) player who was black. That constitutes 1.1% of all place kickers and punters.
Currently, African-Americans compose approximately 13% of the U.S. population. About two-thirds of NFL rosters are composed of black players. Hell, even Alaska has a higher percentage of black people than the NFL kicking corps. To my mind, the scarcity of color in the NFL kicking corps is too drastic to be a mere statistical anomaly. Why does your TV screen go #FFFFFF every time it's 4th and 8?
There does not appear to be much discussion on this topic outside some dubious Canadian blogging or a few grammatically disastrous and rather impolite Yahoo! Answers pages. To me this clear lack of diversity in the kicking corps implies that there is some inefficiency in the selection of NFL kickers that could be used to the advantage of a sharp thinking team.
Through my brief research, I have found two general claims as to why there are so few black kickers:
- black players are "too athletic" to be kickers (and thus stick to other positions on the field)
- most good kickers have a soccer background (the implication being that black kids don't play soccer?)
To tackle the first argument, I will follow the somewhat uncomfortable a priori assumption that black players are indeed "more athletic" than white players. The idea that someone is "too athletic" to play a position (in any sport), however, is fairly preposterous. That is not to say you need to be athletic to play all positions (see: CC Sabathia, many offensive lineman), but I find it hard to think of instances where athleticism would actually hurt your performance. An athletic kicker could get a kick off more quickly, kick higher and farther, and would be more successful in running any sort of trick play.
Now the argument might be that with all this athleticism, black players are more likely to focus on the premiere positions (QB, RB, WR, linebacker) and hold their noses up whenever they walk by the kicker. However, given the astronomically poor odds of ever becoming an NFL player, would you really say no thanks to the opportunity to kick at the NFL level (with all the associated paychecks and
Perhaps your argument is that, even given a high level of athleticism, you need to have some sort of background in soccer. To this I counter: shut the hell up. If this were true, wouldn’t we see special teams filled with athletic former-soccer players born south of the border? There is, in fact, a total of 1 (one) Latin American player in the NFL. The Steeler’s Daniel Sepulveda, a Mexican American, is the second of two non-white kickers in the NFL. Sepulveda also happens to be a two-time Ray Guy award winner, selected as the nation’s best college punter. While attending Baylor, Sepulveda earned the starting kicker position despite a lack of punting experience beyond junior high. His athleticism allowed him to succeed as a punter at the college level and in the pros (see this fake punt leading to a 32 yard completion and the way he eviscerates this poor punt returner’s ego and spine – damn).
It seems to me that the lack of melanin on NFL kicking squads is most likely due to an unwillingness to look for players outside the traditional special teams spectrum, rather than any sort of indictment of blacks or Latin Americans as punters and kickers. So please – if you want to see improved special teams play on your favorite local football club, encourage the head coach to experiment with player selection and add some color to the roster. Exploiting inefficiencies in the roster construction of your opponents may just help you win your next game. Plus, Reggie Hodges is getting lonely.
The full list of NFL kickers that I compiled can be found at the following Google spreadsheet. For the most part I relied on a highly scientific examination of skin pigmentation as found in each kicker's ESPN headshot (or old college team headshot in the case of some of the lesser kickers that were probably cut by week 3). If the player looked like he was half black, a quarter Mexican, or had just spent a couple hours too many at the tanning salon I did some additional Googling to determine whether that player was, in fact, of the non-Caucasian persuasion.
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